A dark blue background overlaid with warm orange and yellow lines creating the shape of a seashell.

Conscious experience is at once the most familiar thing in the world and the most mysterious.

David J. Chalmers

COMPLEXITIES

CONVEXITIES

 

My grandfather taught me, when he gave me painting lessons, that there’s no such thing as a concavity in nature: when you study the profile of a valley, it’s made up of convexities.

I saw this was true when I made contour drawings, verboten to glance down: my pencil moved as my eye did along a periphery. When I finished and looked at the paper, my drawing would be little hummocks — some longer, some shorter — linked together.

My grandfather also said, Art is suggestion; art is not representation.

MORNING GLORY

 

A morning glory slipped into the front hall, climbed the door frame, and bloomed — white trumpets — inside the old house. I laughed at its wit and trained it over the top of the door the way one of my aunts trained ivy to frame her kitchen window. Ivy, another invasive species: bindweed and English ivy.

Commonwealth countries coloured pink on the world map Miss Adanac pulled down over the chalkboard in our third-grade classroom. Sprawling Canada, triangular India. England also pink, the mother country.

The first time I went to India I felt as uncultured as a toddler. How to use the toilet, eat, dress myself. Even in a sari, I stood out. A mute boy’s sign for me was to tap his front tooth.

My hair is now whiter than my skin.

DURGA

 

Ranjan kept telling me that in Indian mythology, the male is passive while the female is active. My idea of what was manly or womanly, he assured me, was parochial.

His mother worshiped Durga, a more sociable version of Kali (minus the bloodied tongue and necklace of skulls). Kali, he told me, eats her children.

When I asked him what on earth his mother found attractive in Kali-cum-Durga, he paused. I could see him discard the complexities he figured I wouldn’t fathom.

Time, he finally explained, consumes everything, including pain. Kali is time. She promises suffering will end.

MAHABALIPURAM

 

Indian sculpture depicts Sanskrit poetry — not life. Poets did not speak of the hollow that follows the bone of the shin, so a leg is round as a tree trunk. Poets did not name the wrist, so a hand joins the arm without wrinkles or a knob. Nor did poets mention crow’s feet or Adam’s apples.

Thump a temple column and it sounds a note. The next column hums a note one tone higher — fa so la ti do — across the portico.

In the stonemason’s shed, the chinking of metal on stone louder than wind chimes — like the clinking of dishes and cutlery in a large and noisy kitchen. Under palm thatch, men and boys trace a goddess with charcoal on granite, take chisel, mallet, awl — carve a poem.

SHORE TEMPLE

 

So far, the sea has eaten six temples that once studded this tongue of shore. Over thirteen hundred years wind and sand, scouring the seventh, have erased the faces from its stages of creation.

Combers break along the beach. Foam scoots for a few seconds in the dawn. Surf rolls a swimmer in its fist, scouring knees, turning her head over heels underwater, hurtling her away.

Black birds, cocky as jays, strut around women emptying bags of shells they netted while jumping waves.

I find tiny scallop shells tangled in my pubic hair. The lining of my bathing suit has pocketed a handful of sand.

GLASS FLOAT

 

Our English word horizon derives from a Greek word meaning the bounding circle — our boundary, limit.

A glass float — like a person — has boundaries. It’s fragile. It’s made to ride on the surface of ocean and hold up a fishnet. This one came a long way, from Japan to the coast of BC. Somehow, it landed safely. It’s reflective. You can see through it. But the outside looks different when viewed through or on its curves. There are flaws in the glass. It’s handmade. Actually, mouthmade. Someone’s breath formed it and is inside it.

We can change what we make — within what horizon we place the past.

SNOW

 

and a full moon

on the trail uphill

 

snow softens the hump

of spine behind heart

settles on outstretched bones

 

in an arctic cave

a sow

nurses twins

GANESH TEMPLE ON CLIFF’S EDGE

 

swallows too swift to follow

 

stars — flashlight to the car

spruce needles on the alder floor

 

tea bowl’s ring on the cover

of Plato’s complete works

 

we owe a cock to Asclepius

do not forget

 

swallows too swift to follow

NUTS LODGED IN MY SHOULDERS

 

squirrels, don’t forget where you left them

 

corn popping     a basin of exploded white puffs

to sleep on     muscles combed

 

with the small hands of raccoons

of river otters     in tidal marshes

 

salt smarts     pickleweed     little bridge

little bridge     shoulderstand     plow

 

hold

fold self up like a seed

BEHOLD

 

the beautiful bird     red-throated, red-crested

 

yellow bill

black and white stripes     tuxedo tail

 

turning on a bare branch

it was there     then it disappeared

 

towering arbutus in flower

for so many days I could not fill myself