The 18th of the Month Scheval
, in the Year of the Hegira
, 837.
Thou Joy of ev’ry Eye! Thou Torment of every Heart! Thou
Intellectual Light! I do not kiss the Dust of thy Feet; because
thou seldom art seen out of the Seraglio, and when thou art, thou
walkest only on the Carpets of Iran
, or on Beds of Roses.
I here present you with a Translation of the Work of an
ancient Sage , who having the
Happiness of living free from all Avocations, thought proper, by
Way of Amusement, to write the History of
Zadig ; a Performance, that comprehends
in it more Instruction than, ’tis possible, you may at first be
aware of. I beg you would indulge me so far as to read it over, and
then pass your impartial Judgment upon it: For notwithstanding you
are in the Bloom of your Life; tho’ ev’ry Pleasure courts you; tho’
you are Nature’s Darling, and have internal Qualities in proportion
to your Beauty; tho’ the World resounds your Praises from Morning
till Night, and consequently you must have a just Title to a
superior Degree of Understanding than the rest of your Sex; Yet
your Wit is no ways flashy; Your Taste is refin’d, and I have had
the Honour to hear you talk more learnedly than the wisest
Dervise , with his venerable Beard, and
pointed Bonnet: You are discreet, and yet not mistrustful; you are
easy, but not weak; you are beneficent with Discretion; you love
your Friends, and create yourself no Enemies. Your most sprightly
Flights borrow no Graces from Detraction; you never speak a
misbecoming Word, nor do an ill-natur’d Action, tho’ ’tis always in
your Power. In a Word, your Soul is as spotless as your Person. You
have, moreover, a little Fund of Philosophy, which gives me just
Grounds to hope that you’ll relish this Historical Performance
better than any other Lady of your Quality would do.
It was originally compos’d in the
Chaldean Language, to which both you
and my self are perfect Strangers. It was translated, however,
into Arabic , for the Amusement
of the celebrated Sultan Ouloug-beg. It first appear’d in Public,
when the Arabian and
Persian Tales of One Thousand and One
Nights, and One Thousand and One Days, were most in Vogue: Ouloug
chose rather to entertain himself with the Adventures of
Zadig . The Sultanas indeed were more
fond of the former. How can you, said the judicious Ouloug, be so
partial, as to prefer a Set of Tales, that are no ways interesting
or instructive, to a Work, that has a Variety of Beauties to
recommend it? Oh! replied the Sultanas, the less Sense there is in
them, the more they are in Taste; and the less their Merit, the
greater their Commendation.
I flatter my self, thou Patroness of Wisdom, that thou wilt
not copy after those thoughtless Sultanas, but give into the
Sentiments of Ouloug. I am in hopes likewise, when you are tir’d
with the Conversation of such as make those senseless Romances
abovemention’d their favourite Amusements, you will vouchsafe to
listen for one Minute or two, to the Dictates of solid Sense. Had
you been Thalestris in the Days
of Scander , the Son of
Philip ; had you been the Queen
of Sheba , in the Reign
of Solomon , those Kings would
have been proud to have taken a Tour to visit you.
May the Celestial Virtues grant, that your Pleasures may meet
with no Interruption; your Charms know no Decay; and may your
Felicity be everlasting!
SADI.
THE Approbation.
I, Who have subscrib’d my Name hereto, ambitious of being
thought a Man of Wit and Learning, have perus’d this Manuscript,
which I find, to my great Mortification, amusing, moral,
philosophical, and fit to be read, even by those who have an utter
Aversion to Romances; for which Reason, I have depretiated it, as
it deserves, and have in direct Terms told the Cadi-Lesquier, that
’tis a most detestable Performance.
The Blind Eye
.
In the Reign of King Moabdar
, there was a young Man, a Native of
Babylon , by name
Zadig ; who was not only endowed by
Nature with an uncommon Genius, but born of illustrious Parents,
who bestowed on him an Education no ways inferior to his Birth.
Tho’ rich and young, he knew how to give a Check to his Passions;
he was no ways self-conceited; he didn’t always act up to the
strictest Rules of Reason himself, and knew how to look on the
Foibles of others, with an Eye of Indulgence. Every one was
surpriz’d to find, that notwithstanding he had such a Fund of Wit,
he never insulted; nay, never so much as rallied any of his
Companions, for that Tittle Tattle, which was so vague and empty,
so noisy and confus’d; for those rash Reflections, those illiterate
Conclusions, and those insipid Jokes; and, in short, for that Flow
of unmeaning Words, which was call’d polite Conversation in
Babylon . He had learned from the first
Book of Zoroaster , that
Self-love is like a Bladder full blown, which when once prick’d,
discharges a kind of petty Tempest.
Zadig , in particular, never boasted of
his Contempt of the Fair Sex, or of his Facility to make Conquests
amongst them. He was of a generous Spirit; insomuch, that he was
not afraid of obliging even an ungrateful Man; strictly adhering to
that wise Maxim of Zoroaster
. When you are eating, throw an Offal to the
Dogs that are under the Table, lest they should be tempted to bite
you. He was as wise as he could well be wish’d;
since he was fond of no Company, but such as were distinguish’d for
Men of Sense. As he was well-grounded, in all the Sciences of the
antient Chaldeans , he was no
Stranger to those Principles of Natural Philosophy, which were then
known: And understood as much of Metaphysics as any one in all Ages
after him; that is to say, he knew little or nothing of the Matter.
He was firmly convinc’d, that the Year consisted of 365 Days and an
half, tho’ directly repugnant to the new Philosophy of the Age he
liv’d in; and that the Sun was situated in the Center of the Earth;
And when the Chief Magi told him, with an imperious Air, that he
maintain’d erroneous Principles; and that it was an Indignity
offered to the Government under which he liv’d, to imagine the Sun
should roll round its own Axis, and that the Year consisted of
twelve Months, he knew how to sit still and quiet, without shewing
the least Tokens of Resentment or Contempt.
As Zadig was immensely
rich, and had consequently Friends without Number; and as he was a
Gentleman of a robust Constitution, and remarkably handsome; as he
was endowed with a plentiful Share of ready and inoffensive Wit:
And, in a Word, as his Heart was perfectly sincere and open, he
imagin’d himself, in some Measure, qualified to be perfectly happy.
For which Purpose he determin’d to marry a gay young Lady
(one Semira by name) whose
Beauty, Birth and Fortune, render’d her the most desirable Person
in all Babylon . He had a
sincere Affection for her, grounded on Honour, and
Semira conceiv’d as tender a Passion
for him. They were just upon the critical Minute of a mutual
Conjunction in the Bands of Matrimony, when, as they were walking
Hand in Hand together towards one of the Gates of
Babylon , under the Shade of a Row of
Palm-trees, that grew on the Banks of the River
Euphrates , they were beset by a Band
of Ruffians, arm’d with Sabres, Bows and Arrows. They were the
Guards, it seems, of young Orcan
(Nephew of a certain Minister of State) whom the Parasites,
kept by his Uncle, had buoy’d up with a Permission to do, with
Impunity, whatever he thought proper. This young Rival, tho’ he had
none of those internal Qualities to boast of that
Zadig had, yet he imagin’d himself a
Man of more Power; and for that Reason, was perfectly outrageous to
see the other preferr’d before him. This Fit of Jealousy, the
Result of mere Vanity, prompted him to think that he was deeply in
Love with the fair Semira ; and
fir’d with that amorous Notion, he was determin’d to take her away
from Zadig , by Dint of Arms.
The Ravishers rush’d rudely upon her, and in the Transport of their
Rage, drew the Blood of a Beauty, the Sight of whose Charms would
have soften’d the very Tigers of Mount
Imaüs . The injur’d Lady rent the very
Heavens with her Exclamations. Where’s my dear Husband, she cried?
They have torn me from the Arms of the only Man whom I adore. She
never reflected on the Danger to which she was expos’d; her sole
Concern was for her beloved Zadig
. At the same Time, he defended her, like a Lover, and a Man
of Integrity and Courage. With the Assistance only of two domestic
Servants, he put those Sons of Violence to Flight, and
conducted Semira , bloody as she
was, and in fainting Fits, to her own House. No sooner was she come
to her self, but she fix’d her lovely Eyes on her Dear Deliverer.
O Zadig , said she, I love thee
as affectionately, as if I were actually thy Bride: I love thee, as
the Man, to whom I owe my Life, and what is dearer to me, the
Preservation of my Honour. No Heart sure could be more deeply
smitten than that of Semira .
Never did the Lips of the fairest Creature living utter softer
Sounds; never did the most enamoured Lady breathe such tender
Sentiments of Love and Gratitude for his signal Service; never, in
short, did the most affectionate Bride express such Transports of
Joy for the fondest Husband. Her Wounds, however, were but very
superficial, and she was soon recover’d.
Zadig receiv’d a Wound that was much
more dangerous: An unlucky Arrow had graz’d one of his Eyes, and
the Orifice was deep. Semira was
incessant in her Prayers to the Gods that they might restore
her Zadig . Her Eyes were Night
and Day overwhelm’d with Tears. She waited with Impatience for the
happy Moment, when those of Zadig
might dart their Fires upon her; but alas! the wounded Eye
grew so inflam’d and swell’d, that she was terrified to the last
Degree. She sent as far as Memphis
for Hermes , the
celebrated Physician there, who instantly attended his new Patient
with a numerous Retinue. Upon his first Visit, he peremptorily
declared that Zadig would lose
his Eye; and foretold not only the Day, but the very Hour when that
woful Disaster would befal him. Had it been, said that Great Man,
his right Eye, I could have administred an infallible Specific; but
as it is, his Misfortune is beyond the Art of Man to cure. Tho’
all Babylon pitied the hard Case
of Zadig , they equally stood
astonish’d at the profound Penetration of
Hermes . Two Days after the Imposthume
broke, without any Application, and
Zadig soon after was perfectly
recover’d. Hermes thereupon
wrote a very long and elaborate Treatise, to prove that his Wound
ought not to have been heal’d. Zadig
, however, never thought it worth his while to peruse his
learned Lucubrations; but, as soon as ever he could get abroad,
determin’d to pay the Lady a Visit, who had testified such uncommon
Concern for his Welfare, and for whose Sake alone he wish’d for the
Restoration of his Sight. Semira
he found had been out of Town for three Days; but was
inform’d, by the bye, that his intended Spouse, having conceived an
implacable Aversion to a one-ey’d Man, was that very Night to be
married to Orcan . At this
unexpected ill News, poor Zadig
was perfectly thunder-struck: He laid his Disappointment so
far to Heart, that in a short Time he was become a mere Skeleton,
and was sick almost to death for some Months afterwards. At last,
however, by Dint of Reflection, he got the better of his Distemper;
and the Acuteness of the Pain he underwent, in some Measure,
contributed towards his Consolation.
Since I have met with such an unexpected Repulse, said he,
from a capricious Court-Lady, I am determin’d to marry some
substantial Citizen’s Daughter. He pitch’d accordingly upon
Azora , a young Gentlewoman extremely
well-bred, an excellent Oeconomist, and one, whose Parents were
very rich.
Their Nuptials accordingly were soon after solemniz’d, and
for a whole Month successively, no two Turtles were ever more fond
of each other. In Process of Time, however, he perceiv’d she was a
little Coquettish, and too much inclin’d to think, that the
handsomest young Fellows were always the most virtuous and the
greatest Wits.
The Nose .
One Day Azora , as she was
just return’d home from taking a short Country airing, threw
herself into a violent Passion, and swell’d with Invectives. What,
in God’s Name, my Dear, said Zadig
, has thus ruffled your Temper? What can be the Meaning of
all these warm Exclamations? Alas! said she, you would have been
disgusted as much as I am, had you been an Eye-witness of that
Scene of Female Falshood, as I was Yesterday. I went, you must
know, to visit the disconsolate Widow
Cosrou , who has been these two Days
erecting a Monument to the Memory of her young deceased Husband,
near the Brook that runs on one side of her Meadow. She made the
most solemn Vow, in the Height of her Affliction, never to stir
from that Tomb, as long as ever that Rivulet took its usual
Course.—Well! and wherein, pray, said
Zadig , is the good Woman so much to
blame? Is it not an incontestable Mark of her superior Merit and
Conjugal-Affection? But, Zadig ,
said Azora , was you to know how
her Thoughts were employ’d when I made my Visit, you’d never forget
or forgive her. Pray, my dearest Azora
, what then was she about? Why, the Creature, said
Azora , was studying, to be sure, to
find out Ways and Means to turn the Current of the River.
Azora , in short, harangu’d so long,
and, was so big with her Invectives against the young Widow, that
her too affected, vain Shew of Virtue, gave
Zadig a secret Disgust.
Zadig had an intimate Friend,
one Cador by Name, whose Spouse
was perfectly honest, and had in reality a greater Regard for him,
than all Mankind besides: This Friend
Zadig made his Confident, and bound him
to keep a Project of his entirely a Secret, by a Promise of some
valuable Token of his Respect. Azora
had been visiting a Female Companion for two Days together in
the Country, and on the third was returning home: No sooner,
however, was she in Sight of the House, but the Servants ran to
meet her with Tears in their Eyes, and told her, that their Master
dy’d suddenly the Night before; that they durstn’t carry her the
doleful Tidings, but were going to bury
Zadig in the Sepulchre of his
Ancestors, at the Bottom of the Garden. She burst into a Flood of
Tears; tore her Hair; and vow’d to die by his Side. As soon as it
was dark, young Cador came, and
begg’d the Favour of being introduc’d to the Widow. He was so, and
they wept together very cordially. Next Day the Storm was somewhat
abated, and they din’d together; Cador
inform’d her, that his Friend had left him the much greater
Part of his Effects, and gave her to understand, that he should
think himself the happiest Creature in the World, if she would
condescend to be his Partner in that Demise. The Widow wept,
sobb’d, and began to melt. More Time was spent in Supper than at
Dinner. They discoursed together with a little more Freedom.
Azora was lavish of her Encomiums
on Zadig ; but then, ’twas true,
she said, he had some secret Infirmities to which
Cador was a Stranger. In the Midst of
their Midnight Entertainment, Cador
all on a sudden complain’d that he was taken with a most
violent pleuretic Fit, and was ready to swoon away. Our Lady being
extremely concern’d, and over-officious, flew to her Closet of
Cordials, and brought down every Thing she could think of that
might be of Service on this emergent Occasion. She was extremely
sorry that the famous Hermes was
gone from Babylon , and
condescended to lay her warm Hand upon the Part affected, in which
he felt such an agonizing Pain. Pray Sir, said she, in a soft,
languishing Tone, are you subject to this tormenting Malady?
Sometimes, Madam, said Cador ,
so strong, that they bring me almost to Death’s Door; and there is
but one Thing can infallibly cure me; and that is, the Application
of a dead Man’s Nose to the part affected. An odd Remedy truly,
said Azora . Not stranger,
Madam, said he, than the Great * Arnon
’s* There was at this Time in
Babylon , a famous Doctor, nam’d
Arnon , who both cur’d Apoplectic Fits,
and prevented them from affecting his Patients, as was frequently
advertiz’d in the Gazettes, by a little never-failing Purse that he
hung round their Necks. infallible Apoplectic Necklaces.
This Assurance of Success, together with
Cador ’s personal Merit,
determin’d Azora in his Favour.
After all, said she, when my Husband shall be about to cross the
Bridge Tchimavar , from this
World of Yesterday, to the other, of To-morrow, will the
Angel Asrael , think you, make
any Scruple about his Passage, should his Nose prove something
shorter in the next Life than ’twas in this? She would venture,
however, and taking up a sharp Razor, repair’d to her Husband’s
Tomb; water’d it first with her Tears, and then intended to perform
the innocent Operation, as he lay extended breathless, as she
thought, in his Coffin. Zadig
mounted in a Moment; secur’d his Nose with one Hand, and the
Incision-Knife with the other. Madam, said he, never more exclaim
against the Widow Cosrou . The
Scheme for cutting my Nose off was much closer laid than hers of
throwing the River into a new Channel.