"Dedicated to the brilliant vegetarian cheese croquettes with spaetzle that we had at the youth camps back then...I will always have fond memories of you" - Mattis Lundqvist
Despite all the nonsense that follows, the recipes themselves ARE coherent and work. It's hard to believe: they even taste good - after all, my wife tried some of them out herself during her student days.
All satirical, cynical and other formulations are not intended to distract from the fact that the dishes can be prepared in exactly the same way.
I hope that you, dear reader, can even take away some ideas and have to smile a time or two, because – to be honest: who hasn't desperately needed a hangover breakfast at three in the morning after a long night of partying, and then reached for the kettle to make instant noodles, for example?
Exactly.
This book is an appeal for more pragmatism and less "bling-bling" in the kitchen. Quinoa, cranberries and juice smoothie deluxe or all the new-fangled ingredients and dishes are thrown at us every day. All kinds of stuff are overrated and loaded with meaning and sometimes religious-like beliefs. But the kitchen should be a place for everyone, because as the saying goes: the best parties are held in the kitchen.
Especially those who are often under time pressure (professionals) or whose budget is limited (trainees, students, low-income earners) may even take a serious look at one or two ideas here and say to themselves "not bad at all". This is deliberate - delicious and good food does not have to be expensive or take a long time. Notwithstanding this, it should of course be clear that some of the following "dishes", such as ready-to-eat pizza, are more of an entertainment than a culinary recommendation.
It's time to fight back - with dishes so banal but tasty at the same time that it almost hurts again. Let's go!
Greetings,
Mattis and Martha Lundqvist
PS: The book is satire. We hope that this has become more than clear. After all, misunderstandings may otherwise arise. T
No animals have been harmed in any experiments or trials in the making of this book.
We also don't know whether chicken or egg came first.
As far as we know, this work does not serve any terrorist activities, unless you count "kitchen terror" in a very strict sense. In this respect, you have nothing to fear from state institutions when using this book.
We can't help it if the cardboard packaging of the print edition is totally twisted. Hey, complain to the delivery service, not to the author. Thank you!
Time and again, people complain that the electronic edition of a book has "no table of contents". Yes, it does - according to the "standard", which is required by publishers and eBook distributors (those helpers who bring the book to the market). For example, on a Kindle: In the open book, click on the top left so that the great control bar appears. Then click on this symbol with the three bars. This usually opens a menu on the left that says something like "About the book", "Title page" etc. Swipe down to "Table of contents". Click it. That's it.
"But there are books that have one of these directly in the book at the beginning." True - but only if you supply a very specific supplier (the one with the capital A). Since this book is available everywhere (because the good news has to be spread), we have to adhere to the generally valid rules for technical reasons, even if we wanted to do it otherwise. Please do not misunderstand: This is not a bad criticism. It's just like shouting at a stranger on the street because they happen to look like your idiotic EX.
Every now and then readers get annoyed why there are no pictures in recipe books - like this one. Honestly? We could talk about the "high costs" of production and layout when using pictures, which make writing unprofitable (we don't live on thin air alone) - but that's not YOUR problem - it's OURS. So to shamelessly pull you over to our side, we simply offer the book at a lower price in return! Crazy, isn't it?
What you could seriously think about, however, if you absolutely always want pictures - and this is meant completely seriously:
Do the dishes in the pictures look like yours when you cook them?
Do the pictures always match the dish?
Do the pictures justify the extra charge?
Do you know what tricks food stylists use to make the food in the pictures not EATABLE AT ALL?
Exactly.
Admittedly: A beginners' guide on the subject of "baking with the oven" should definitely have pictures. It doesn't make sense, for example, for a repair manual NOT to have pictures in it; after all, you want to see the steps if you've never done it before. But why you have to SHOW an experienced housewife (or a house-husband) with pictures how spaghetti bolognese looks like in the end...
...besides, half the fun of this book would disappear if you knew right away what was behind each recipe.